fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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