We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
