Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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