is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
