I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
