..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
