is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
