Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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