why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
