the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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