Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I believe in your delicious
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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