do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
