we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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