if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
