I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
