party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
