Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
