Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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