whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
now i know why i became what i already was.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
