my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize