im having a threesome with these popsicles
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
