I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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