did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Farmville is her only friend.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
