so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
