Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You are a genius and a whore.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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