That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
