we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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