we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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