Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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