They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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