oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
