OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
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No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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