Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
