my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
