At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
