I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
How naked do you want me to be?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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