DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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