Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
