just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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