Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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