I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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