Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize