hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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