Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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