Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
