Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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