Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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