oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
