somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You took a bar mat shot.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize