i barfeds in our rink
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
