I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
