Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
