you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
