Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
