so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize