and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
