Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She's JV to your varsity
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
