Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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