Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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