I wannas sexs uuuuu
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
