I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
