he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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