would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
