We need to rekindle our bromance
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
