I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
