you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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